I accidentally deceived someone today and didn’t even realize it until much later. I was attending the Los Angeles downtown art walk and was in need of a beer. My group and I, some couch surfers from couchsurfing.com, went to bar 107 and I quickly ordered a beer. Normally there is plenty of wine at the artwalk but today was different. The art was really really good but there was a significant lack of alcohol. I got a large pabst blue ribbon in a can and milled around the bar. It was a cool place but too busy and too crowded. Within 10 minutes group decided to leave and head to the classier joint, The Edison. I, uncharacteristically, didn’t feel like pounding my beer so I put it into my coat pocket and proceeded in my deception. As I leave the place the bouncer stops me and point to the energy drink in my hand which I had when I walked into the place. He told me to take it inside. My friends looked on and thought I was getting caught but they didn’t know that I wasn’t getting stopped for the secret beer in my coat. I, again, told the bouncer that I had the energy drink the whole time and he finally let me walk past. Seconds later, I produced the beer on and drank some on the street, celebrating my caper. The surfers looked on with subtle amazement. I guess these ones are pretty straight laced.
I’ve been toying with the idea of giving up all forms of waste for one month. For example, I would bring in my coffee cup every time I wanted a coffee and I couldn’t throw away any leftover food. I could pack it for leftovers or maybe feed it to a dog so that wouldn’t count as wasting. Alternatively I couldn’t ever throw away a 1/2 empty beer or glass of wine. I don’t really run into that too much as it is. I guess we’ll have to see.
The hardest on the list would be to not waste time. Maybe I should split the waste month into two. No physical waste and no time waste.
The deception of D-.
Car alarms really have to be the most useless invention known to man. I sit at my local coffee shop and my ears are being assaulted by a constant, annoying beeping that’s been going on for the last 5 minutes straight. Ok, maybe not 5 minutes but at least the last 3. Stupid honesty…
So I’ve been thinking a lot about honesty and I realized that for most of my life I’ve instituted the “one layer of deception rule.” In this, my personal hammurabi’s code, I have the freedom to tell a non truth but, if confronted about it, can’t create more lies about the original lie. For instance, if I’m late to an appointment with a client and tell them I was in a meeting but then later on they over hear me talking to a friend and learn that I was hungover, if they ask about it I won’t lie on top of the original lie but admit, but say that I was embarrassed and told a tiny falsehood. This method usually comes in pretty handy and keeps me out of too much deception trouble and also keeps it simple because the more lies one tells the harder it is to remember exactly how you spun your tangled web of deception.
It seems that this month is going to be more full of meat than almost any other month. Just like August was more full of intoxicants due to the previous months sobriety, this month I’m eating meat with reckless abandon. Go Team carnivore! Nom nom nom…
Whoa. Just came home to see that my girlfriend L— found a picture of a girl that I was sort of seeing when her and I first met. The picture is of A—, a cute and scantily clad brunette sitting on my bed. She is smiling up at the camera and doesn’t leave much of a doubt of what had just taken place.
I see a note from L—… She is very honest, understanding and not really angry. Holy shit. What a level headed girl.
I call her up and reiterate that when we first met I WAS seeing other girls but I stopped once I realized that I was in love with her. From that point on I didn’t feel good about continuing to date anyone else. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was tell another perfectly sweet, utterly adorable girl that I was ending our playtime because of another adorable jewel of a woman. L— is very understanding sometimes. She isn’t even upset!
Update from 2009: L— Definitely wasn’t as level headed as she seemed here. I never heard the end of this little incident!
Update from yesterday: Apparently this friend didn’t want to see my ass as much as I didn’t want to see his. When I told him I’d get him a taxi he obliged and that was that. Pretty easy considering all the effort I wasted worrying about it!
Speaking of wasted effort… Wow. My life is so much cleaner than it used to be. I feel lighter. I feel great. I don’t feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings and it’s such a relief! I didn’t realize until now how much I let other peoples feelings dictate my life. Caring about other people is extremely important but not when it intrudes upon your own well being. Being direct and slightly dickish is pretty nice.
Liz knows it’s my month of honesty and I’m just glad she hasn’t asked me any questions that she didn’t want to hear the answer to. I’m not going to tempt her by mentioning this to her.
Jeff and I drove all through the night (about 8 hours or so) until we hit the same gourmet breakfast place in Lee Vining California which had all the great bacon and breakfast meats I was drooling over last month. I ordered my usual farmers breakfast of bacon & eggs over medium w/ sour dough toast and home fried potatoes. It was definitely delicious but wasn’t 10 times better than the last time I had bacon. It seems to me that abstaining from food isn’t cumulative and so when you finally do eat the food you’ve been missing it’s only slightly better than you remember instead of 1000x better. Sex on the other hand I have found to be VERY cumulative so if I withhold for a month the next time it happens is earth shattering.
Observation: Vegetarianism is more inconvenient than anything else
Observation: I didn’t feel super healthy or any huge difference in health or mental outlook. In fact my volcanic gas reminiscent of the fumes of hell were slightly worrisome.
Fact: Bacon rules the universe
Burning man is over and not eating meat wasn’t that hard. Even if I was craving meat badly the state of unending total intoxication I was in would have kept me from noticing much. Actually, as I’m now writing this in my month of no deception I have to say that the hyperbole of being in a state of almost complete intoxication isn’t exactly true. I was pretty much only intoxicated in the evenings until the early morning. Ahhh, doesn’t the truth feel nice?
I’m fucking pissed off. I want to lie so badly that I can’t stand it. It’s not even a BIG lie either. It’s a tiny shifting of the truth for a perfect alibi.
Let me explain but here’s the cliff notes version: I went to burning man with a friend I’ve known for about a year but never really traveled with and while burning man was a complete and total success, the trip was a disaster. I will never travel with that friend again. He was such a neurotic person to travel with that I REALLY don’t want to see him for a long time. I’m supposed to pick him up from the RV place after he drops it off and give him a ride home but I don’t want to drive to fucking Hawthorne in rush hour traffic. I don’t want to see him and I sure as hell don’t want to hear him open his stupid mouth and say stupid things from his stupid mind! Fuck! I had the perfect excuse to flake out this morning too because when I woke up this morning I had a flat tire. I got it fixed immediately but all I would have to do to get out of this goddamn task is a slight, insignificant shift of time as to when the flat tire happened and I’d have the perfect excuse not to go see this guy! Nature you big friggen tease! The problem is that even a small shifting of the truth = lying. Goddamnit! I guess I’ll just say that I can’t pick him up (the truth) and will pay for a taxi. We’ll see how this goes…