I wake up to 3 txt’s and a voicemail from W—. He’s supposed to have paid me by the 1st of october, but he says he can only pay me about 1/3 of what he owes me. No wonder I don’t want to do any work for him. I’m going to have to set a boundary sometime soon.
One thought that’s been on my mind is that maybe part of this no procrastination thing should be that I should always do work time before playtime? They both kind of go together and it is one thing I never learned. Maybe I’ll save that for another month. I don’t know.
One thing I’m pretty stoked about this month is the ability to wield a well placed lie from time to time. I don’t think I’ve had the occasion to do so yet but I’ll be extra awesome when I do!
It’s a little strange dropping a habit cold-turkey. What a strange saying that is too… Cold turkey… The day went mostly well; I answered all phone calls until, “Shit, J—‘s mom!” I have a friend who has been acting strangely and getting into more trouble than normal and whenever he disappears for days at a time his mom calls me to see if I know his whereabouts and to convince herself he’s being murdered by psychos in the desert. “No A—, why would anyone sneak into J—‘s car while he’s sleeping with it to kill him? He’s one of the toughest guys I know and would give them a hell of a time.” I don’t like being pulled into other people’s drama so I ignored the call. Procrastination fail. Damn, now I HAVE to call her back!
So I called her back and, 20 minutes of complaining and explaining later, I was done and felt a little better about confronting an unpleasant task.
The phone rings again… Damnit, it’s the annoying client I mentioned last month… He hasn’t paid me in a year and always calls w/ emergencies. This time at 9pm. I’m in the middle of a good book and the last thing I want to do is walk him through some procedure. Maybe it’ll just be a quick one.
“Hello? Uh huh, your mail isn’t working? Let me walk you through it’s settings…” Ugh… Oh great, he has to go take another call. Awesome, “Call me back when you’re done.”
“Ok so let’s configure outlook… An error message? What’s it say? Hrmm we should run a detect and repair. You can’t find the cd? OK, find the cd, run a detect and repair and then call me back to configure.”
Great, more reading…
Arg, he’s calling again, “It still isn’t working? Sounds like outlook is hosed… Ok let’s reinstall office. Go ahead and run the uninstall and then reinstall office. Call me when you’re done”
It’s not 11pm and I don’t want to walk him through anything. This guy is a taker and he’ll take and take and take and take until you realize you’re being taken. I’m gonna strategically plan a shower right now… Hopefully I won’t hear the phone when it goes off.
Aha, my plan worked perfectly, he called and I didn’t gave to ignore his call. Plus it’s now passed midnight and who knows, it might be too late to call him back!
On a side note I may have to have a month of no sneakiness.
In a moment of extreme irony, or extreme truth, I haven’t figured out which is more appropriate, I decided to stop putting off my month of no procrastination. Starting today I won’t put anything off that I can feasibly take care of now. Since I can’t do very many things at once there will be times that I need to reschedule a task but I don’t count scheduling something for a later time as procrastination. Planning to do something in the future isn’t procrastination.
Highest on this list is not ignoring phone calls and getting back to friends/clients who are trying to contact me. Don’t get me wrong though, I love not not getting back to people immediately and it definitely has it’s advantages. It sort of ‘trains’ people not to call just to bullshit. I must not be a phone person or maybe I just like my bullshit like I like my sex: in person. It’s like the first line of defense against useless blabbing. It works pretty well too. Most my friends don’t call me just to blab and most my clients don’t call without first trying to solve the problem theirself.
There are extremes though and I’ve been known to forget to call people back altogether or let my voice mail pile up so high that I don’t get back to clients emergency situations until much later. Bad business.
This month, I will not ignore calls unless in a meeting or other situation that legitimately justifies hitting the ignore button on my phone. Also, I won’t put off business projects and other tasks simply because I don’t feel like doing it.
So without further ado!
I accidentally deceived someone today and didn’t even realize it until much later. I was attending the Los Angeles downtown art walk and was in need of a beer. My group and I, some couch surfers from couchsurfing.com, went to bar 107 and I quickly ordered a beer. Normally there is plenty of wine at the artwalk but today was different. The art was really really good but there was a significant lack of alcohol. I got a large pabst blue ribbon in a can and milled around the bar. It was a cool place but too busy and too crowded. Within 10 minutes group decided to leave and head to the classier joint, The Edison. I, uncharacteristically, didn’t feel like pounding my beer so I put it into my coat pocket and proceeded in my deception. As I leave the place the bouncer stops me and point to the energy drink in my hand which I had when I walked into the place. He told me to take it inside. My friends looked on and thought I was getting caught but they didn’t know that I wasn’t getting stopped for the secret beer in my coat. I, again, told the bouncer that I had the energy drink the whole time and he finally let me walk past. Seconds later, I produced the beer on and drank some on the street, celebrating my caper. The surfers looked on with subtle amazement. I guess these ones are pretty straight laced.
I’ve been toying with the idea of giving up all forms of waste for one month. For example, I would bring in my coffee cup every time I wanted a coffee and I couldn’t throw away any leftover food. I could pack it for leftovers or maybe feed it to a dog so that wouldn’t count as wasting. Alternatively I couldn’t ever throw away a 1/2 empty beer or glass of wine. I don’t really run into that too much as it is. I guess we’ll have to see.
The hardest on the list would be to not waste time. Maybe I should split the waste month into two. No physical waste and no time waste.
Car alarms really have to be the most useless invention known to man. I sit at my local coffee shop and my ears are being assaulted by a constant, annoying beeping that’s been going on for the last 5 minutes straight. Ok, maybe not 5 minutes but at least the last 3. Stupid honesty…
So I’ve been thinking a lot about honesty and I realized that for most of my life I’ve instituted the “one layer of deception rule.” In this, my personal hammurabi’s code, I have the freedom to tell a non truth but, if confronted about it, can’t create more lies about the original lie. For instance, if I’m late to an appointment with a client and tell them I was in a meeting but then later on they over hear me talking to a friend and learn that I was hungover, if they ask about it I won’t lie on top of the original lie but admit, but say that I was embarrassed and told a tiny falsehood. This method usually comes in pretty handy and keeps me out of too much deception trouble and also keeps it simple because the more lies one tells the harder it is to remember exactly how you spun your tangled web of deception.
It seems that this month is going to be more full of meat than almost any other month. Just like August was more full of intoxicants due to the previous months sobriety, this month I’m eating meat with reckless abandon. Go Team carnivore! Nom nom nom…
Whoa. Just came home to see that my girlfriend L— found a picture of a girl that I was sort of seeing when her and I first met. The picture is of A—, a cute and scantily clad brunette sitting on my bed. She is smiling up at the camera and doesn’t leave much of a doubt of what had just taken place.
I see a note from L—… She is very honest, understanding and not really angry. Holy shit. What a level headed girl.
I call her up and reiterate that when we first met I WAS seeing other girls but I stopped once I realized that I was in love with her. From that point on I didn’t feel good about continuing to date anyone else. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was tell another perfectly sweet, utterly adorable girl that I was ending our playtime because of another adorable jewel of a woman. L— is very understanding sometimes. She isn’t even upset!
Update from 2009: L— Definitely wasn’t as level headed as she seemed here. I never heard the end of this little incident!
Update from yesterday: Apparently this friend didn’t want to see my ass as much as I didn’t want to see his. When I told him I’d get him a taxi he obliged and that was that. Pretty easy considering all the effort I wasted worrying about it!
Speaking of wasted effort… Wow. My life is so much cleaner than it used to be. I feel lighter. I feel great. I don’t feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings and it’s such a relief! I didn’t realize until now how much I let other peoples feelings dictate my life. Caring about other people is extremely important but not when it intrudes upon your own well being. Being direct and slightly dickish is pretty nice.
Liz knows it’s my month of honesty and I’m just glad she hasn’t asked me any questions that she didn’t want to hear the answer to. I’m not going to tempt her by mentioning this to her.