Jeff and I drove all through the night (about 8 hours or so) until we hit the same gourmet breakfast place in Lee Vining California which had all the great bacon and breakfast meats I was drooling over last month. I ordered my usual farmers breakfast of bacon & eggs over medium w/ sour dough toast and home fried potatoes. It was definitely delicious but wasn’t 10 times better than the last time I had bacon. It seems to me that abstaining from food isn’t cumulative and so when you finally do eat the food you’ve been missing it’s only slightly better than you remember instead of 1000x better. Sex on the other hand I have found to be VERY cumulative so if I withhold for a month the next time it happens is earth shattering.
Observation: Vegetarianism is more inconvenient than anything else
Observation: I didn’t feel super healthy or any huge difference in health or mental outlook. In fact my volcanic gas reminiscent of the fumes of hell were slightly worrisome.
Fact: Bacon rules the universe
Burning man is over and not eating meat wasn’t that hard. Even if I was craving meat badly the state of unending total intoxication I was in would have kept me from noticing much. Actually, as I’m now writing this in my month of no deception I have to say that the hyperbole of being in a state of almost complete intoxication isn’t exactly true. I was pretty much only intoxicated in the evenings until the early morning. Ahhh, doesn’t the truth feel nice?
I’m fucking pissed off. I want to lie so badly that I can’t stand it. It’s not even a BIG lie either. It’s a tiny shifting of the truth for a perfect alibi.
Let me explain but here’s the cliff notes version: I went to burning man with a friend I’ve known for about a year but never really traveled with and while burning man was a complete and total success, the trip was a disaster. I will never travel with that friend again. He was such a neurotic person to travel with that I REALLY don’t want to see him for a long time. I’m supposed to pick him up from the RV place after he drops it off and give him a ride home but I don’t want to drive to fucking Hawthorne in rush hour traffic. I don’t want to see him and I sure as hell don’t want to hear him open his stupid mouth and say stupid things from his stupid mind! Fuck! I had the perfect excuse to flake out this morning too because when I woke up this morning I had a flat tire. I got it fixed immediately but all I would have to do to get out of this goddamn task is a slight, insignificant shift of time as to when the flat tire happened and I’d have the perfect excuse not to go see this guy! Nature you big friggen tease! The problem is that even a small shifting of the truth = lying. Goddamnit! I guess I’ll just say that I can’t pick him up (the truth) and will pay for a taxi. We’ll see how this goes…
I was going to start this month out saying I was giving up lying but there really are many more forms of deception than just lying. You can deceive by omission, you can deceive by implication, deception by exaggeration etc. That’s why I’ve chosen the word deception to measure my progress.
After a hearty meal filled with delicious bacon I began to contemplate my new endeavour while driving back home from burning man. It’s somewhat hilarious that the month following sobriety is filled with more intoxicants and intoxication than has ever been witnessed before. At least by me. I wonder if this month will be filled with more meat than ever seen before.
As I’m driving home, I start to feel light, giddy even at the prospect of not putting up with other people’s bullshit. Example #1: A client of mine hasn’t paid me in a year and owes me more than $1,500. I KNOW I shouldn’t be putting up with this but he’s such a crazy/funny guy that I always let it slide and due to that I haven’t been paid in more than 12 months. The truth is though, I am slightly annoyed that every time he calls it’s an emergency and he wants priority treatment. So now the thought of telling him like it is which is that he’s a manipulative douche and regardless of his financial trobules he gets uber low priority until I see some money from his ass.
Realization #1: I allow waaaay to much bullshit in my life.
It’s the middle of the week at burning man. There’s beef jerky everywhere but I don’t really crave it. Maybe due to the lack of smell. I’m eating well thanks to the RV and the delicious Indian cuisine I grabbed from the local trader joes. Eating their spicy punjab choley I find it easy to be a vegetarian.
I’m still thinking about the upcoming months and what to give up for the upcoming ones. Next on the list is going to give up all forms of deception. I think one of these months I’m going to give up procrastination but, ironically, I’m going to put that one off for a little while 🙂
Being a vegetarian isn’t that hard… That is until everyone I’m traveling to burning man with gets a breakfast dish with some form of delicious smelling pork. The driver, got an extra side of bacon and wolfed that down too. Very hard to say no to but I did. Definitely the most temptation so far. I continue telling myself that the plate of bacon I’ll have in a week is going to taste that much better now. Helps a little but that smell is almost too sweet to pass up.
Another definite increase in suck factor
I’m not sure what I’m going to give up for the remaining months but I’m pretty sure I know what next month is going to be: lying. Lying, though, is only one form of deception so the way that I’m going to word it is to give up all forms of deceit including white lies, leaving out parts of the truth in order to give another impression and, of course, straight out non-truths. I do wonder though if I should make it retroactive. Should I HAVE to be truthful about EVERYTHING I’ve ever done? I’ve definitely told a few white lies in my day and even a few bold face, whopping lies but I seriously think it will be detrimental to my safety and well being if I make this one retroactive. We’ll see about that aspect of it.
My roommate is having a BBQ and it smells amazing. There are chicken legs and sausage and I’m cranky that I can’t eat anything. I’m going to go to the grocery store to get some beer and veggies to grill up. I get some asparagus, some zuccini, some corn and shitake mushrooms. I put some balsamic vinegar on the mushrooms and throw them on the Q. I do the same with the asparagus and zuccini. The mushrooms turn out pretty good and I wonder how healthy it is to eat almost a pound of them in one sitting… I eat some asparagus and zuccini which are good but probably only because I was famished. There is another BBQ on the 17th and I’m hoping it gets easier to turn down tasty foodicles.
Definite suck factor points now!
Why would I be more gassy w/o meat than with meat? I would think that the opposite would be true. And it’s not normal gas. It’s nuclear. Sorry friends!
LA is a city that really cares about vegetarians. Las Vegas? Not so much. I’m at the Hard Rock Cafe and there are only 2 dishes that don’t have meat: the nachos and the quesadillas. I wonder how many nachos and quesadillas I will eat this month…